A heart full of love, or a heart full of blog?

If I didn't blog about a life with Jesus, to whom would I be saying this stuff? Would my heart be burning, overflowing with the news of His Love? Do I NEED to tell of what He has done in my life, how His Word can teach and purify and illuminate?

If I say, "I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name," there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot. For I hear many whispering. Terror is on every side! "Denounce him! Let us denounce him!" say all my familiar friends, watching for my fall.

- Jeremiah 20:9-10

Then one of them, named Cle'opas, answered him, "Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?" And he said to them, "What things?" And they said to him, "Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, and how our chief priests and rulers delivered him up to be condemned to death, and crucified him. But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since this happened. Moreover, some women of our company amazed us. They were at the tomb early in the morning and did not find his body; and they came back saying that they had even seen a vision of angels, who said that he was alive. Some of those who were with us went to the tomb, and found it just as the women had said; but him they did not see." And he said to them, "O foolish men, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?" And beginning with Moses and all the prophets, he interpreted to them in all the scriptures the things concerning himself. So they drew near to the village to which they were going. He appeared to be going further, but they constrained him, saying, "Stay with us, for it is toward evening and the day is now far spent." So he went in to stay with them. When he was at table with them, he took the bread and blessed, and broke it, and gave it to them. And their eyes were opened and they recognized him; and he vanished out of their sight. They said to each other, "Did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the scriptures?" And they rose that same hour and returned to Jerusalem; and they found the eleven gathered together and those who were with them, who said, "The Lord has risen indeed, and has appeared to Simon!" Then they told what had happened on the road, and how he was known to them in the breaking of the bread.

- Luke 24:18-35

I am searching my conscience for the sin of omission of witness, of leaving others to find Him for themselves. Of being a big chicken for the Lord.

This is how I'd like to be sent out the door every morning

When I was young, my mother was always with us when we left for school. She would remind me about forgotten homework or lunch, make one last fruitless pass through my hair with the brush, give me a kiss and then wave from the window as I walked down the block.

Now I live a much more independent life. For now, I have two adult daughters with me who greet me a little perfunctorily but warmly when I walk in and to whom I yell "Bye" from the door on my way out. But it's not the same, is it?

Well, I found this lovely encouragement yesterday; it made me wish there were someone to pronounce it over me every day when I leave the house:

I exhort you to be courageous now and always without becoming bewildered by difficulties, and always trusting in Him who is your Friend and your Redeemer, and watching and praying to keep your faith sound and your grace lively.

John Paul II

Isn't that just the life you want? Maybe I'll just tape it to the inside of my front door.

Hot, hot, hot

It's awful in Chicagoland. Upper 90's every day, humid as an armpit. Three minutes of rain yesterday after two weeks without it, to open cheers among the adults, but it got even sultrier afterwards. No relief until the end of the week.

I went to the Bible for an appropriate mood piece. Here it is, from Job 37:

"Hear this, O Job;
stop and consider the wondrous works of God.
Do you know how God lays his command upon them,
and causes the lightning of his cloud to shine?
Do you know the balancings of the clouds,
the wondrous works of him who is perfect in knowledge,
you whose garments are hot
when the earth is still because of the south wind?
Can you, like him, spread out the skies,
hard as a molten mirror?

I'm learning that the Bible is not only the truth and love of God, it is the poetry and nature and story-telling and art of God.

Not everyone who says "Lord, Lord"

Today's Gospel reading at Mass was Matthew 7:21-29:

Jesus said to his disciples:
"Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,'
will enter the Kingdom of heaven,
but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven.
Many will say to me on that day,
‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name?
Did we not drive out demons in your name?
Did we not do mighty deeds in your name?'
Then I will declare to them solemnly,
‘I never knew you. Depart from me, you evildoers.'

"Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them
will be like a wise man who built his house on rock.
The rain fell, the floods came,
and the winds blew and buffeted the house.
But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock.
And everyone who listens to these words of mine
but does not act on them
will be like a fool who built his house on sand.
The rain fell, the floods came,
and the winds blew and buffeted the house.
And it collapsed and was completely ruined."

When Jesus finished these words,
the crowds were astonished at his teaching,
for he taught them as one having authority,
and not as their scribes.

When I read these words last year (as a Thursday lecter, I get the same readings for the 12th Thursday of ordinary time every year - I LOVE the liturgical calendar*), I was ashamed to know that my Particular Judgment would show many episodes of my crying out "Lord, Lord" while committing any number of seemingly little, comfy and tidy sins.

This year, I realized that people of whom the Lord spoke weren't protesting by pointing out that their sins weren't so bad, they were protesting by saying "Look at the WONDERFUL things we did in Your Name!"

I can't say I haven't been warned, in His Mercy. I could be the nicest person in my parish, the most energetic encourager of others' reluctant faiths, the best jello-mold bringer to the potluck, but I'd better be clear on the Rock on which my foundation is laid.

*Being the lecter for the same readings each year, I got to make the annual last-second-while-stepping-into-the-ambo decision on the first reading, Genesis 16:1-16, about Abram, at the part where Sarai tells Abram to go ahead and have intercourse with Hagar...... I chickened out and read the short version (starting at verse 6b). I'm not a prude, but unless the homilist is planning to emphasize that part of the story of the birth of Ishmael, I'd rather skip the intimate details. Who said the Bible is dry and boring?

She sings silly songs by the seashore

It must be summer that's doing it to us, Therese. Building on your opus of jump rope rhymes, I've found myself thinking of the silly riding-in-the-car songs that we've sung with our kids, many of which go back to my own elementary school days. Don't tell anyone, but we still break out into these sometimes on a long drive or sitting out on our porch.

How about:

A peanut sat on the railroad track
His heart was all a-flutter.
Along came a big freight train.
Toot, toot. Peanut butter.

or,

Down by the bay
Where the watermelon grow
Back to my home
I dare not go.
For if I do
My mother will say
Did you ever see a Fish
Washing a dish
Down by the bay.
(What you see and what they're doing grow in ludicrousness as the song goes on.)

And here's a fun one:

Sing "Row Row Row Your Boat" quickly.
Start again, sing all but the last word.
Start again, omit the last two words, then the last three, and so on.

By the time you get to "Row row row your" "Row row row" "Row row" "Row", if the group is not convulsed with laughter you have more self control than we ever did.