You CAN take it with you

Oswald Sobrino at Catholic Analysis has a great post on Christian friendship as seen through the eyes of St. Augustine. Though many hold friends dear, not too many of us consciously consider the role that friendship plays in our lives.

I spent much of my youth feeling out of step with my peers. That instilled a longing for meaningful relationships that God has used to good purpose as he has drawn me into Christian community. When I was about 20 (I remember exactly where I was walking when this occurred to me), I asked the Lord to give me good, solid friendships with good, solid people. Over time, this prayer has been answered in a huge way and is one of the richest aspects of my life.

As a woman, at least I had cultural expectations on my side. In North America, it's less common for men to consciously foster a network of individual friendships. Natural groups of "guys" come about through work or sports, perhaps there's a regular golfing buddy, but there aren't natural outlets for the men who (perhaps more than we guess) want -- well, what can I call it? The words "closeness" or "intimacy" have a girly or sexual overtone to them, don't they? Perhaps we need to take refuge in the vocabulary of "strength," "support," "authenticity." That's okay for a start, but if I were a man, I'd be angry that perfectly good words had been co-opted by the Ninny Underground.

I want the men in my life to have good men in their lives who encourage, accept, exhort, inspire and energize them. I want them to have somewhere (besides their boudoir, if they're married) where they're free to be absolutely honest without timidity.

When we go to live with God at the end of time, the things that are only part of this world are going to peel away. Our appetites, possessions, temptations; the synthetic pleasures that in our ignorance we have substituted for joys -- all of these will be gone in a flash. But I'm firmly convinced that our relationships will go with us, better than ever.

Love never ends. (1Cor 13:8)

A word from the co-queen

Greetings, everyone. Thank you for taking a moment out of your blog cruising to read this procedural message.

Spam comments have become an increasing problem on this blog. We would like to avoid taking the step of banning anonymous comments because we welcome the thoughts of those who might not want to take the time to register with Blogger. So as of now (actually, as of about one hour ago), any comment that contains a link to a commercial site will be summarily deleted. Other comments that appear to be self-promotional or otherwise spammy will also be deleted, but we will use our discretion and happily apologize if a mistake is made.

If you are posting without being a registered user, it would be a welcome courtesy for you to sign the bottom of your post and include a web address or e-mail address if you are so inclined. It is one of the happy consequences of blog comments to start interesting conversations, so please chime in if you have anything to say.

We now return you to your happy wandering.

Don't ask me for directions to the Narrow Way

I don't like where I am on this journey:

"My friend never fails to irritate me when she says those things. God, open her eyes or smite her or something!"

to

"I always fail to cast off my irritation when my friend says those things. God, forgive me and purify my heart!"

to

"There is my friend, a child of God! I rejoice in any hurt she unknowingly or knowingly does me, joining it to the sufferings of Christ!"

to

"There is my friend, a child of God! How can I serve her?"

I have the Directions, and the Heavenly Fuel. I have companions for the journey, and yet there I am, pulling 360's in the parking lot....

To know, know, know him

I heard a wonderful talk yesterday about knowing God -- not "knowledge" in the sense of being acquainted and familiar enough to appreciate and accept, but knowledge in the sense that Adam knew Eve his wife and that God knows us.

Being known by God is far more than being in His awareness. He not only knows what we do, think, believe and feel. He surrounds us, loves us, draws us in, gazes on us, pours goodwill into us, knows us. Are we willing to allow him to make Himself known to us in that same way?

In the first chapter of Ephesians, Paul prays for the Christians there. He's not exhorting them to faithfulness in duties nor adherence to theological beliefs. Instead, he prays,

"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe." (Eph. 1:17-19)

What Paul lovingly desires for his brothers and sisters in Ephesus is that they individually and together know God better. It's not enlightenment of their minds here, but their hearts, which will bring to them the depth of hope and participation in the riches and power that the Holy Spirit wants to give them.

In my experience, Catholics and Protestants have different blind spots in this area. My Protestant friends tend to individualize messages like these and apply them (validly but incompletely) to the individual's relationship with God. They may miss the power of the sacramental and corporate blessings God intends for the Church collectively as his Bride. Catholics, on the other hand, frequently jump first to the application that it is the Church -- God's people as a whole -- with whom the Holy Spirit does business. It's not untrue but again incomplete. It can be a way of emotionally keeping the power, devotion and yearning of God for each of us at a more comfortable distance, causing us to miss out.

It's clear through the entirety of scripture and sacred tradition that God wants each and all together. He will bless his people as a body, if only because that is the way he chose to manifest himself on earth after his death, resurrection and ascension. But he in love with people, persons, men, women, kids, individuals. If each of us isn't stepping up to ask for and receive more knowledge of him and more experience of his huge love for us, we are missing out bigtime.

May we all know him better.

Nothing is impossible with God

In my experience of journalistic outlets in southeast Michigan, The Detroit Free Press has consistently displayed the most inflexibly liberal perspective, not only in politics (unsurprising in this Home of the Auto Worker) but also in general world-view.

Today at the online Features Section page, I was surprised to find (right under the link to the "Are you a Cosmo Girl?" quiz) a most beautiful profile of the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist. I'm sorry to bore you about them, but I found this prayer-soaked essay one of the most inspiring accounts I've read in a long time. I'm not an official or unofficial "friend of the order"; most of what I know I have learned along with you as I've read these pieces.

Let's pray for the men and women who write feature pieces for newspapers and magazines, that they might take the opportunities they've been given to allow themselves to be personally touched and to communicate the spirit of the works of God that they see to their readers. I've written a note of appreciation to the article's author. It's the least I can do.