TS O'Rama describes the joy: Grinch to Human in 1 Hour
Monday, January 10, 2005
"Cranky Catholics" gets underway
Well, as they said in the psalm at Mass yesterday, "The God of Glory thunders, and in His temple all say "Glory!" (Psalm 29)
We had a roomful of new "Cranky Catholics" last night for the first meeting of our ministry. The first night is always spent in telling our stories, interspersed with an overview of the weeks to come, and gathering topics that seem to be hot buttons for each unique group.
The level of honesty among strangers always humbles me. Among our "class," (I don't know what to call them), we have:
- an angry woman who feels the Church demeans women and active homosexuals
- a man who is married to a woman who is "born-again" and is beginning to demean Catholicism and throw "whore of Babylon" information at him. He wants information not only to use when talking with her and the children, but for himself to make sure he knows why he's Catholic
- a woman who simply said "God found me" after a life of reasonably faithful Catholicism and now needs to know what to learn first
- her husband who says he's tagging along, but is surprised that everybody is not perfectly happy as a Catholic
- a woman born and raised Catholic but who married a Protestant and raised her children in that faith, and now, divorced and with her children nearly grown, is wondering if the Catholic Church is where she really wants to be
- two people who told similar stories: they wandered off from church totally, and want to come back, but for real, not just because there isn't anything else to do on Sundays
and others whose stories haven't quite jelled yet. The team members all told their stories again, too, and we all surprise each other with new details, even though we've heard each other's testimonies several times before. All our stories may not sound connected, but if you could hear them, you'd realize that they all connect on at least one side. Together, they make a cry to God.
(And further glory to God, only two people said they came because they heard my little talk the week before. I am spared the pride of thinking I had something to do with drawing them, darn that Holy Spirit!)
We're on our way!
We had a roomful of new "Cranky Catholics" last night for the first meeting of our ministry. The first night is always spent in telling our stories, interspersed with an overview of the weeks to come, and gathering topics that seem to be hot buttons for each unique group.
The level of honesty among strangers always humbles me. Among our "class," (I don't know what to call them), we have:
- an angry woman who feels the Church demeans women and active homosexuals
- a man who is married to a woman who is "born-again" and is beginning to demean Catholicism and throw "whore of Babylon" information at him. He wants information not only to use when talking with her and the children, but for himself to make sure he knows why he's Catholic
- a woman who simply said "God found me" after a life of reasonably faithful Catholicism and now needs to know what to learn first
- her husband who says he's tagging along, but is surprised that everybody is not perfectly happy as a Catholic
- a woman born and raised Catholic but who married a Protestant and raised her children in that faith, and now, divorced and with her children nearly grown, is wondering if the Catholic Church is where she really wants to be
- two people who told similar stories: they wandered off from church totally, and want to come back, but for real, not just because there isn't anything else to do on Sundays
and others whose stories haven't quite jelled yet. The team members all told their stories again, too, and we all surprise each other with new details, even though we've heard each other's testimonies several times before. All our stories may not sound connected, but if you could hear them, you'd realize that they all connect on at least one side. Together, they make a cry to God.
(And further glory to God, only two people said they came because they heard my little talk the week before. I am spared the pride of thinking I had something to do with drawing them, darn that Holy Spirit!)
We're on our way!
Thursday, January 06, 2005
The Maze of the Mass
Today at our simple, brisk but reverent morning Mass, I was suddenly struck with how hard it must be for a non-Catholic Christian to go to Mass for the first time.
When you come in, you put your finger in holy water and cross yourself but you don't say anything. Then you go to a pew and you don't sit down, you kneel a little. How long? Then you sit down. Then you stand up. Then you cross yourself and this time you say something. Then you answer the priest. You know all the words.
You strike your breast during another prayer everyone seems to know without a book. You stand, you sit. By golly, you burst into song! How did you know? You make a little rubbing motion on your head and mouth and chest. Up, down, up, down and then someone knows to get up and take the gifts to the priest. NOW you throw kneeling into it! A bell? Again? And everyone knows the damn words!
No wonder they feel like they stick out! They wouldn't believe you if you said that you wouldn't notice if they were a beat behind everyone else, or if they flipped back and forth through the missalette, which they can't figure out how to use.
I bet they feel like a million-watt light is on them, even in a crowded church in the back row, or even an empty, dim church in the back row.
Pray for these people. Pray that you be given the grace and the warmth to offer to go with them, or sidle up to them, or suavely catch up to them after Mass and introduce yourself.
When you come in, you put your finger in holy water and cross yourself but you don't say anything. Then you go to a pew and you don't sit down, you kneel a little. How long? Then you sit down. Then you stand up. Then you cross yourself and this time you say something. Then you answer the priest. You know all the words.
You strike your breast during another prayer everyone seems to know without a book. You stand, you sit. By golly, you burst into song! How did you know? You make a little rubbing motion on your head and mouth and chest. Up, down, up, down and then someone knows to get up and take the gifts to the priest. NOW you throw kneeling into it! A bell? Again? And everyone knows the damn words!
No wonder they feel like they stick out! They wouldn't believe you if you said that you wouldn't notice if they were a beat behind everyone else, or if they flipped back and forth through the missalette, which they can't figure out how to use.
I bet they feel like a million-watt light is on them, even in a crowded church in the back row, or even an empty, dim church in the back row.
Pray for these people. Pray that you be given the grace and the warmth to offer to go with them, or sidle up to them, or suavely catch up to them after Mass and introduce yourself.
Friday, December 31, 2004
The Horrible Talking Lectern Head
At this Saturday vigil Mass and on five Masses on Sunday, I'll be either the bane of parishioners' existence or a welcome novelty: I have to speak before all the Masses to introduce the first 2005 session of my parish's "Coming Home" ministry, which I think of as the "Cranky Catholics" series.
First, pray for me. I do not speak to large crowds very often. I want to be welcoming, amusing, sincere, holy, informative, and perfect in every way. Hah. What I really should want is that the Holy Spirit will speak through me and get people off their fundaments and into our session.
Here's my speech, edited to provide privacy to my parish so that I can later comment on what happens during the sessions:
Whaddyathink? I'd appreciate your prayers.
First, pray for me. I do not speak to large crowds very often. I want to be welcoming, amusing, sincere, holy, informative, and perfect in every way. Hah. What I really should want is that the Holy Spirit will speak through me and get people off their fundaments and into our session.
Here's my speech, edited to provide privacy to my parish so that I can later comment on what happens during the sessions:
Happy New Year! My name is Therese Z.
Thank for giving me a few minutes’ attention this morning. I am here to tell you about a seminar St. Exultet's offers. We want to bring absent Catholics back more deeply into the Church, to come back home again. Twice a year, we offer a six-week program of discussion and education and help. We aim at two groups of Catholics:
-The first group is those who are not here. They have wandered away, walked away, or even stomped away from the Church. You all know them: they feel the Church has let them down. Perhaps someone in the Church, a teacher, a pastor, a coach, might have seemed harsh to them or their families, or were in fact mean or unfair. They might have marriage complications. They usually feel rejected by the Church and have in turn rejected the Church.
- The second group may be sitting here at Mass today. You may feel many of the same things as that first group. You’re wondering what on EARTH you’re doing here. “Mass seems boring, or repetitive. I don’t get anything out of it!” You may even be thinking, “as soon as the kids get a little older, I’m out of here.”
You feel like you’ve gotten behind, and you don’t know where to start. You haven’t been taught anything since your Confirmation classes. You may have knowledge of serious sins, but it’s been so long since you’ve been to Confession, that you can’t remember anything past “Bless Me, Father, for I have sinned.”
Both these groups have one thing in common: they think everything about the Church has changed, or they think that nothing about the Church has changed. They need some answers, information and fellowship. We want to provide all of that at the seminar.
I could have used a group like this myself. I am, by virtue of my age, a kind of “Kumbaya Catholic.” My First Communion Mass was in Latin, but by my senior year of Catholic high school, I knew all the words to Jesus Christ Superstar, but I didn’t own a Bible or a catechism! My memories are a jumble of kneeling at altar rails and making felt banners; “Et cum spiritu tuo” and those happy-clappy 1960’s “hymns” like “All-Le-Lu.”
Although I never said that I wasn't Catholic, I spent a lot of years ignoring my Catholicity. I never tried to understand why the Church taught what She did. I made fun of my Catholic school past, committed all the popular sins, lived through marriage and divorce and the illness and death of family members, without knowing God’s plan for me. All in all, I went a long time without an adult relationship with Jesus Christ or His Church.
A few years ago, by the grace of the Holy Spirit, I showed up at Church again, this time here at St. Exultet's. This time, through the sacraments and a lot of self-education, as well as the example and help of some great, holy people, I found the real everyday relevance as well as the intellectual beauty and truth and depth of the Catholic faith. I want others to have the same experience.
So, we need two things from you:
1. For the absent Catholics: can you give them our handout (see the Bulletin)? Can you tell them about us? If they’re nervous, come WITH them! You’ll learn something too! We owe our family and friends a renewal in their relationship with God through His Church.
2. For the uncomfortable pewsitters here: come and join us. During these six weeks, you can re-orient yourself in the Church, get your questions answered, often by hearing someone else with EXACTLY the same question ask it, and find your place more securely here in this parish and in the Church at large. We don't demand a commitment; we’re only here to make it easier to get questions answered, and facts straight.
Thanks for your attention. Please see the Bulletin for more information, and please pray for our ministry.
God Bless St. Exultet Parish!
Whaddyathink? I'd appreciate your prayers.
Sunday, December 26, 2004
The Holy or Otherwise Family
The Church is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. The Feast of the Holy Family used to be celebrated on the Sunday after Epiphany, but in 1969 it was moved to the Sunday after Christmas. This is the PERFECT day to celebrate it.
What better time to ponder our families then when we have just had a great, big, heaping, steaming, noisy, overflowing helping of them? No matter how strenuously we each try for a humble, joyful, loving walk with our Lord, again in our midst as a beautiful Baby, did your buttons get pushed? Did the comparisons of who's smarter or more successful or prettier or has better-dressed children come up? Did your cousin's jello come out of the mold more beautifully than yours? Did your children spill Hawaiian punch on the new rug? Did you snap back at your sister? Any eyes rolled, or deep sighs emitted? Were you afraid to speak of your faith in the face of ridicule? And did the story of when you fell in the pond in 1970 in your new wool pants get told....again.....and you're a 48-year-old bank vice president?
Our relationship with our family, if rooted and grounded in Christ, still won't be smooth or easy. But we can ride along these rough parts, offering our discomfort in reparation, accepting it in humility, extending love to the hard-to-love, fetching and carrying and pouring coffee and kissing cheerfully in thanks, not just in amused tolerance, because we are also forgiven and tolerated and loved.
From today's Mass, the opening prayer, for all your families, and mine:
Happy second day of Christmas! Remember that cream cheese and sour cream should not be stopped abruptly: a little every few hours will have a sort of methadone effect....
What better time to ponder our families then when we have just had a great, big, heaping, steaming, noisy, overflowing helping of them? No matter how strenuously we each try for a humble, joyful, loving walk with our Lord, again in our midst as a beautiful Baby, did your buttons get pushed? Did the comparisons of who's smarter or more successful or prettier or has better-dressed children come up? Did your cousin's jello come out of the mold more beautifully than yours? Did your children spill Hawaiian punch on the new rug? Did you snap back at your sister? Any eyes rolled, or deep sighs emitted? Were you afraid to speak of your faith in the face of ridicule? And did the story of when you fell in the pond in 1970 in your new wool pants get told....again.....and you're a 48-year-old bank vice president?
Our relationship with our family, if rooted and grounded in Christ, still won't be smooth or easy. But we can ride along these rough parts, offering our discomfort in reparation, accepting it in humility, extending love to the hard-to-love, fetching and carrying and pouring coffee and kissing cheerfully in thanks, not just in amused tolerance, because we are also forgiven and tolerated and loved.
From today's Mass, the opening prayer, for all your families, and mine:
Father in heaven, creator of all, you ordered the earth to bring forth life and crowned its goodness by creating the family of man. In history's moment when all was ready, you sent your Son to dwell in time, obedient to the laws of life in our world. Teach us the sanctity of human love, show us the value of family life, and help us to live in peace with all men that we may share in your life for ever.
Happy second day of Christmas! Remember that cream cheese and sour cream should not be stopped abruptly: a little every few hours will have a sort of methadone effect....
